Monday, July 12, 2010

what is it that you're trying to prove?

ESPANA, OH, ESPANA!
IMEJORABLE!

(ps: give my man a break!)

You've all seen it. It speaks for itself! :D Truly unbelievable!

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I can't believe I just did that. I practically fucked my life up. What did I have to ruin something this good in my own hands? I wish I could give myself a punch in the face, if it would even help to change things. I can't turn it around now. If it happens, then it happens. This guilt is killing every part of me and slowing eating me up inside. I can't pretend it never happened. I don't regret. Regret is all useless!

This is insane. I never felt this way all my life. I don't know how it happened and I don't know why it did. But if you were me and you could understand exactly what the hell is going on, then I'm sure things wouldn't have been so shady. I'll face the consequences, whatever it takes. I'd admit I was wrong first. Admitting mistakes can't hurt, I'm not the last but I sure ain't the first. If the worst comes along my way, then I'll just swallow my pride and say I was wrong. But if temporary happiness can cost me a lifetime worth of it, then I guess I deserve it. There's nothing more left to say. It's all said and done.

I suppose its the worst day of my life ever. I could never know and find myself again. It's complicated, it really is. If only I could find the right words to set this right in your head and everyone else's, and they won't judge me for what I've done, and if only I wouldn't judge myself in the first place, then it would all be okay. At this point in time, it really is not alright. Misery Business: slay me now.

-my little decoy

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